The neighbours from hell...

They moved in the house next door just a month ago. The average family: an Italian couple with 2 children, 2 boys aged 4 and 2 years old...

The first thing that shocked us was the lack of warmth coming from the wife... Never ever you will get a smile from her!

^{_stupidstupid}Now, I know I can be very annoying with my huge smile and my very loud “Hello! How are you today? Do you like your new house?” Some would say so much happiness makes them want to puke, and I am sure I heard her saying this one day... although it was something in Italian and it could well have been something like ”I hate you, stop talking to me you stupid cow!” Either one or the other, that’s what her eyes threw at me that day. Of course I am not that stupid to reiterate the experience! Now it is more an exchange of looks across the fence that says “what? have you got a problem? Well stop looking at me then! “

That’s ok, I can live with that and I must confess that I prefer this to the neighbour who’s bored in her own house and comes knocking everyday for a coffee and a chat...

They started a weird trade in their garage as well... we all have some theories... My husband says that he does computer repairs and I say he does some underground business, probably importing Panetone to resell it here, 3 times the price, to his Italian mates! Because they are ALL Italian the visitors! No, I do not spend my life spying on them, I hear them talking from across the garden fence and across the WALLS!!! They are so bloody loud!

You all know I am French by now and French people are loud, especially the ones from the south... my husband once asked me “why are you always arguing with your mum and sister when we visit them?” I had to explain that we do not argue, we express ourselves in a very loud manner... For example at breakfast, when he thinks we are already fighting about something, NO! We are just asking to pass on the beurre (butter) to spread on our baguette that we are going to dunk in our coffee later. He got used to it now and he even tries to join in at times... but hey, you are not French baby, so don’t think it is that easy to say simple things looking cross!

My neighbour though, is really good at it! I think it is easy for her; she is always cross anyway...

Yesterday evening the 4 of us were walking back home and as we arrived to our house, we saw the husband storming out of his house... He is usually more agreeable than her, but not yesterday! I gave him my usual “Hello! How are you today?” (Yes, I know I never learn... but he was ok and used to answer). He jumped in his car not answering. Damn I knew I should have used the “what? Have you got a problem? Well stop looking at me then! “ instead!

Just seconds after he got into the car, the wife follows him, shouting! Sorry in advance Metropolitan Mum, but she does sound very German when she shouts. So anyway, she has the laptop and for one split second we thought she was going to throw it in his face through the windscreen, but it looked like she thought about it and decided that the bin was a better place!

All that time, the 4 of us are trying to ignore what we are witnessing and hurry to get into our house and quickly lock the doors! Just in case she tries to let the steam out on us! I just wanted to say that without even thinking twice, we didn’t even acknowledge she was there and said hello, so maybe I do learn after all...

This event was followed by huge arguments in the house and then in the garage...

As if annoying us wasn’t enough, my poor dog has spent the last month barking at these loud people who hung up stuff that looks like pans on the garage walls. It is ugly AND, as if they weren’t loud enough themselves, it makes a weird noise all the time in the garden, driving Nala completely mad! She never barks, not even when the door bell rings, so she must be really pissed off.

I just would like to say one thing to the neighbours: I finally managed to convince my husband, after 3 years of him throwing seeds across the garden to fill the patches in the lawn, monitoring the grass growing back where the dog killed it, putting health hazard all around his seeds so the dogs won’t go anywhere near it, playing the scarecrow to stop the birds eating his seeds... all this time spoiling half my summers telling him “can we please have the garden done professionally, and get some nice even grass, because what you are doing OBVIOUSLY doesn’t work!”... I finally FINALLY convinced him to do it this year. SO if they decide to argue all summer in the garden, spoiling my time in my new garden, I send the dog across the fence to eat their bloody pans and keep them inside their house until summer is over!! AND I MEAN IT!!!

Comments

[Tara@Sticky Fingers]

Yikes, that's just awful.
Squabbling neighbours can be very entertaining mind. Not if they ruin summer however. Maybe you should post them a note saying 'can you please have your domestics between November and March only please x'

[peggy]

That's a good idea! and maybe I could also write on the note, can you argue in either French or English so we understand what it is all about? Much easier for the gossips and for the entertainment!

[Caroljs]

I know exactly how you feel. unfortunaly I have 3 sets of annoying neighbours one of which has domestics all the time though they seem to have most of them on a Sunday!!

I too am dreading the summer when I can get baby outside that they are going to ruin it!

x

[peggy]

@ Caroljs Oh dear, 3 sets of annoying neighbours! how do you cope with it? is it including the mad lady next door who recycles for 10 even though she's on her own? :)

[Metropolitan Mum]

Mais Madame Poser, I am Austrian! But having being brought up in good old Germania, I know how to shout like the fishmonger's wife, KEIN PROBLEM! But I would never use it against the neighbours, of course...

[Maternal Tales]

I think you need to show them a bit of your Gallic side Peggy - give them a taste of their own medicine. Failing that, move house...

[Peggy]

@ Metropolitan Mum @ maternaltales I think I am going to combine both suggestions and I will learn how to shout like a fishmonger's wife in German and give the neighbours a bit of their medicine! ;)

[A Modern Mother]

Yes, too bad you can't choose your neighbours...

I'm curious Peggy, do you read any French mummy blogs (are there any?) or is this just an English thing? Had this phenon hit the contintent yet?

[peggy]

@ a modern mother... yes I do read a little bit of French blogs and actually inspired by you, I created recently a group of French Mum Expats. I have started gathering some contacts which is quite nice. I need to actively work at developing it but I am already so busy reading all these wonderful british blogs that hardly have any time to read the French ones at the moment... And yes it is actually starting to develop quite a lot in France too. As for the other countries I am not sure.
How are you finding it back in the US? Where about are you again?

[Danny]

Neighbors from hell, yes I know what those are, I moved into an estate run by the local council and at night it gets pure hellish. What with the local kids hanging around with nothing to do all hooded up, I've found the utility cupboard on the stairs has been vandalized (twice).

People have no regards for anyone else, during the night the front security door has been smashed twice this has finally caused the council to put in a security grill.

The neighbor directly above me has been very snide at the way they've chosen to continuously have a go at me, from 11.30PM onwards all you can hear is hammering and then at around 4.30 to 5 you get the same thing every morning, noon and night.

This was all due to my playing my music load once and the person in question came down and hammered abusively on my door and verbally threatened with with putative action if I didn't turn it down.

A simple can you turn that down please would have sufficed not the verbal torrent I received!

Since then it's been hell until this morning when my patience and whats left of my sanity finally snapped.

I posted a notice on what remains of the vandalized notice board. . .

And simply pointed out the following;

If your entering or exiting please do so quietly and if your hammering on the walls at an un-godly hour try to bear in mind your neighbor living directly underneath you has no shortage of a ready supply of gas and matches!

Since then the hammering has stopped and it has become deathly quiet. . .

I think my notice on the comments board might have shook and frayed some of their nerve what a refreshing change.

[Perfectly Happy Mum]

@ Danny I am so sorry to hear that you definitely have the neighbours from hell! On the other hand I wouldn't want to mess with you either with the notice you posted ;) Well done!