Just because at times, I can’t help thinking (in totally un-biased way) that these 2 boys are absolutely gorgeous and that one day, when they think that we are the most useless parents on earth, I’d like them to remember that if they look like this and get lots of girls begging for them to love them, it is thanks to us!
BOYS!
There is something that you do at the moment that is driving me insane, bonkers, potty, pick the word, I DON’T CARE!
Will you please stop wanting the same thing, at the same time, ALL THE TIME!
I have had enough of that! We have enough toys in the house to re-stock Hamleys! Honestly I can’t cope with the whinging and the tears and the roll around like the end of the world has just happened!
I knew this would happen one day or the other, we used to fight all the time with my sister. Actually being 4 years older I was supposed to be the responsible one who would share. My sister on the other hand was allowed to beg and take my stuff because I was “old enough” to understand. So I thought I was ready for this issue and promised myself to be fair as much as I could and you know what, being fair is tiring.
Shall I start counting the number of times a day I say things like:
“Wait for your turn!”
“He had it first”
“Who had it first then?”
“Well ask nicely if you want it”
“No, don’t pull it from him!”
“Oh and you stop crying!”
“Have that instead, see, ooohh, looks really nice… no don’t hit it! or HIM!”
“Why do you want that one ONLY?!”
Elliott, I am asking you to stop jumping on your brother every time is carrying a toy you like, because the same toy has been lying around for hours and sometime days before you even noticed it. Now that Victor has it, it is the most precious one of all!
Victor, please stop stealing toys from your brother when he is looking away and throw them across the room as soon as he’s noticed and want it back. He drives him and ME mad!
We are talking about my SANITY, so please STOP this business!!!
No really, I am not worried at all…
It is only a 2 hour flight, it can’t be that bad. Of course they will behave. They are used to being alone with me… maybe not in a plane though…
Victor will probably be so taken by the amazing views through the plane window that he will forget that he has to be strapped to me because he is not two yet. I am sure he will understand that he can’t have his own seat because he is another three months away from the magic number, the one that will give him access to his OWN seat. But then flying will be more expensive of course.
There is a slight problem, there is only one window and I have promised it to Elliott already. I will just have to ignore the piercing screech in my ear when Victor wants to sit there and ONLY there. Do I need to apologise to the other passengers do you think? I really should, shouldn’t I? Or maybe I will just ignore them!
Why did I decide to take a flight on my own with a 3 year old and a nearly two years old. NEARLY makes all the difference!
What am I talking about anyway? It might be all perfectly ok. Let’s hope that Victor will happily take the harness this time, not like the last attempt. People really didn’t like looking at a child being dragged around. What was best? Discussing it? Try it with Victor! Or maybe leave him there? I thought about it, but it really doesn’t take much before you are branded a bad mum…
So maybe all I need is to order a few glasses of wine and let it all wash over me… after all I might not see these people again…
I will either cry or slap that person! IS THAT CLEAR?!
Now that we have gone past the conversations about breast or bottle, sitting unaided, saying “mama”, walking, POTTY TRAINING, we are on the subject of “Alphabet learning” and SCHOOLS!
Wherever I go I hear: “Have you chosen the school you would like him to go to?” “Have you put his name down?” “What are you going to do if you don’t get your first choice and get sent to the worst school of the area?!” Blah, blah, blaaaahhhh!
Here is the situation: Where we live the best school, the one everyone wants is Catholic. I am Catholic, so that works well. We would quite like him to go there then. Except that it doesn’t work like that. We need to attend Church regularly and that’s fine.
At first I have to confess that I was a bit put off by the whole process.
Anyway I am French and in France any religious school is private. It is a laic country and no public organisation is allowed to show any sign of religion at all. At best it is tolerated. So you don’t have to prove yourself and your faith by going to Church every Sunday and attend every Church events.
As long as they have space and you are Catholic, you are in.
So anyway we are doing as we were told and we go to mass on Sunday as often as we can and we MAKE SURE we sign the register.
Here’s the dilemma: the more we go, the more I am having doubts about the place and about my own feelings regarding this school. Don’t ask me to tell you what it is, because I am unable to put my finger on it. I think it is a combination of the distance, having to drive most of the time, wasting time trying to park along with all the other parents at the SAME time, and in the same breath pollute the world a bit more. Or maybe it is because every time I go I am being told off by someone for chatting. Or maybe I don’t really want my son to come home and tell me that if something goes wrong “it is God’s will”…
I am all for having a spiritual side (after all I do) if it helps you through challenges and makes you do good things for others. However I want to teach my children that they are in charge of their life. If they don’t like something then THEY change it, God will help them I am sure, but at the end of the day only they can make the decision.
I would rather not get into this in depth right here because we will be here for a while. And we are talking about school not religion.
So now the rest of the dilemma…
We live in the catchment area of the school with THE BAD report!
The overall grade is 2, ie Good, with one grade 3 in the foundation because children are not left to spend enough time finding stuff by themselves. Now I don’t know you but there are worse things really. I mean, sure it is good to develop their independent side and I hope that they are making efforts to improve this, but it not like bringing guns at school or something similar.
Anyway I visited the school and I liked it. Actually Elliott will be at their nursery next year for 5 half days a week and it is five minute walk from home. WALK, did you hear that? Heaven!
But that still wouldn’t be my first choice. If I listen to what my gut feeling is saying I would like the other school at the back of my house which is also 5 min in the other direction. That one is lodged into a park and is brand new purpose build. It is lovely. I can already picture myself walking to the school with Nala so she can also have a nice walk in the park after drop off…
I know it sounds like my decision is made. But NO it isn’t! I feel selfish for not wanting to make more of an effort to obtain a space at the much desired school. What if they don’t get a space because I make the wrong decision? What if they can’t get a good secondary school because of that and end up mixing with the wrong crowd. What if I RUIN their life for not making the RIGHT DECISION??!!
I feel so torn. Deep down I know that we can provide a good support to them and educate them culturally and challenge them to get them to think bigger and higher.
How much of an influence is the school if it isn’t for the people they are mixing with? Is it because an OFSTED report is just “good” compared to an “outstanding” that I shouldn’t consider putting that school as my first choice? Am I a selfish mother for wanting to cut the distance to the school?!
ARRRGGHHHH!!!! This is what I think!
Help me please… have you had to make a similar choice?
I know you have been waiting to hear about our potty training experience since the day I announced that we were going to start. Remember? The day I didn't enjoy being a mummy.
It has been 3 weeks and I can say that we are doing fantastically well!
He is a boy and I was told on lots of occasions that boys are lazy, and not referring to their potty skills only by the way. Many people recommended that I waited for him to be 3 to start because all my previous attempts ended rather dramatically and always with a wet sofa.
So after a long mental preparation and with the "Third Birthday" deadline looming, I started feeling the anguish of "The wet sofa, the return"...
We started on a Monday morning. When he woke up and we announced cheerfully: "the day has come! Let's burn the nappies!!" Although he didn't like the idea of burning the nappies, he didn't complain about wearing pants. And that was it! No more nappies apart from at nap time and night time.
Yes we are having some accidents, of course, but after 3 days from starting we were out and about and rarely had to change his pants and trousers. Actually only once it happened. AND he now asks to go to toilet and wakes up with a dry nappy after nap time.
I am so proud of him! The only trouble his "poppey" if you know what I mean...
He refuses to do it anywhere else than in his pants or nappy and I am a little confused and not sure about what I should do...
Just earlier it was the first time he did IT in the potty (because he started it in his trousers and I caught him on time) and when he looked at IT, he looked at me with a distressed expression and said: "Mummy, where is my willy?!" (what is it with men and their willy? Do we go around scratching our boobs and checking they are there all the time?!)
So here went the explanation that he hasn't lost his willy and despite the praises, cheers and the dance with TWO HUGE chocolate buttons he still seemed very unhappy.
Any tips experienced mummies and daddies out there?! I'll send you a chocolate button! I seem to be distributing them like mad at the moment...
My mother is visiting and since she’s arrived we have been chatting, cooking, sewing, shopping, cleaning and more cooking, with obviously a little bit of arguing and some work too… So you will understand that I haven’t had much time for blogging…
So don’t go too far my dear people because I will be back!
In the meantime I have to show you my pride and joy…
The very first cake I have ever decorated…
And the thing I am not sure I will ever do again…
A DINOSAUR CAKE!!
And I am not going to bore you with the same old story that says: “Exactly three years ago, right now at 8.35 AM, I was wide awake like a girl on class A drugs and Red Bull, because I was so excited to have given birth to the most gorgeous baby on the ward! In the UNIVERSE I mean!”
Fast forward to today and you are in front of me sitting on your bean bag arms crossed behind your head, watching the Scooby-doo DVD that your brother gave you for your birthday.
You are proudly wearing your “3 today!” badge and your hair is definitely far too long. Yesterday I tried to put a hair clip in your hair but you told me off for even thinking about it. The same way you tell me off for offering a pink plate and pink cutlery “THAT’S FOR GIRLS!” You are only 3 and you already think pink is for girls. What’s coming next? Ironing, cleaning and cooking is JUST for girls too?!
I look at your gorgeous little face and see the marks of the chickenpox you had a couple of weeks ago and the results of a nasty cold on your cheeks. How many time this week have I said “Do not wipe your nose with your sleeves!!”? So often that I am now saying it in my sleep!
I can’t wait for you to unwrap the coolest present ever. The one that is going to make your eyes pop and love us FOREVER… your first SCOOTER! You have been dreaming of this scooter and occasionally tried to borrow your school friend’s but without success. A scooter is not something you share that easily. But that’s OK because now you will have yours! We kept it from you right now, because we know that in a 3 years old mind you will want to ride it then and there and unfortunately Maman and Papa haven’t had the chance to upgrade to a bigger house yet.
You are so big now, and the proof is that Iggle Piggle has been replaced by Ben 10, Dinosaurs and Superheroes! I am not sure I can say if I like it or not, although I am quite glad not to be singing the Iggle Piggle song in the shower anymore.
We have started proper potty training this week and you are doing really well for someone who has a mother who doesn’t know what she is doing. I am very confused with all the advice around and how we should go about it, but you, you don’t care. “Whatever” is your attitude, “pants OR nappies, as long as I can watch Scooby-doo and play, life is good”.
One of your big milestone this year is when you started preschool. We both cried a bit but you now love it. You have friends and you make cakes and paint. Once again, in a 3 year old life this equals to having a blast, like the BEST LIFE EVER!
I wish I could bottle up that innocence and be able to give it back to you when life and all its worries hits you in the face… Unfortunately this is part of growing up and it has its really good sides to it. Probably the best one is that one day when you grow up (not before you are least 35 with a good career and a lovely wife your mum likes) you will have your own children and you will understand the depth and intensity of the love we have for both of you as well as the excitement to watch you grow everyday.
There are still some days when I look at you both and I am amazed that you are MINE! I feel pride, like when you are at school and you show off your new pen or new shoes, but a million times deeper.
I promise that from now on I will call you BIG boy but for this one last time: “I love you my little boy and I hope you will have a great birthday!”
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