Perfectly Happy Mum

PR / Bloggers: love and hate relationship?

I have been blogging for nearly 2 years and in these 2 years I have seen the PR requests to bloggers increase greatly, along with the number of conversations covering the “PR/Bloggers relationship" Drama. 

I just wanted to add a little bit of my own opinion and as I say this is my personal opinion only:

Stop hitting the PR!

I am not a PR, but I do understand how difficult it must be to keep up with all the blogs being launched everyday. I am a blogger myself and I can’t keep up with it. Seriously, does it REALLY matter if a PR gets our name wrong? Or the number of children we have? Does it mean we should black list them and lapidate them in public because they have offended us?

I have just received a PR request and it says, I quote:

We’ve noticed on your blog you’re a mother of 3 (who have the most endearing nicknames!)

If you’ve been reading my blog you know that I only have two (thank God for that!) and I write using their real name, to give them some stuff to complain about when they are teenagers and we are discussing “how my mum ruined my WHOLE life”.

That made me laugh, I swear that this really doesn’t offend me, nor the fact that some of them ask me to talk about stuff I am not interested in and they would like me to do it for free. Sometimes I ignore them because I don’t have time for it. Some other times I say “thanks, but no thanks” and when one comes with a great freebie like a wireless printer or a Dyson, hell yeah I go for it! It works for them and it works for me.

I don’t always expect something in return for what I write and if something really appeals to me or if I feel I can in some ways contribute to spreading someone’s words, I will do it for free.

I do not intend to “cheapen” my blog and therefore I try and choose carefully what I do with it, but if some income comes out of it, I am happy.

I understand that it can be frustrating to be asked to do things for free or to read obvious signs that the PR didn't carefully try to find out who we are, but we are always able to correct them, say no or simply ask if in return we could have a sample.

I think that the best relationship Bloggers and PR can have should be based on honesty: they want something and so do we, the question is does it match?

A message directly aimed at PR: if you happen to run campaigns involving giving away an IPad, remember, I am being nice to you, so be nice to me in return...

Of course I still mean every single word I said previously regardless... 

If someone mentions "School Choice" again...

I will either cry or slap that person! IS THAT CLEAR?!

Now that we have gone past the conversations about breast or bottle, sitting unaided, saying “mama”, walking, POTTY TRAINING, we are on the subject of “Alphabet learning” and SCHOOLS!

Wherever I go I hear: “Have you chosen the school you would like him to go to?” “Have you put his name down?” “What are you going to do if you don’t get your first choice and get sent to the worst school of the area?!” Blah, blah, blaaaahhhh!

Here is the situation: Where we live the best school, the one everyone wants is Catholic. I am Catholic, so that works well. We would quite like him to go there then. Except that it doesn’t work like that. We need to attend Church regularly and that’s fine.

At first I have to confess that I was a bit put off by the whole process.

Anyway I am French and in France any religious school is private. It is a laic country and no public organisation is allowed to show any sign of religion at all. At best it is tolerated. So you don’t have to prove yourself and your faith by going to Church every Sunday and attend every Church events.

As long as they have space and you are Catholic, you are in. 

So anyway we are doing as we were told and we go to mass on Sunday as often as we can and we MAKE SURE we sign the register.

Here’s the dilemma: the more we go, the more I am having doubts about the place and about my own feelings regarding this school. Don’t ask me to tell you what it is, because I am unable to put my finger on it. I think it is a combination of the distance, having to drive most of the time, wasting time trying to park along with all the other parents at the SAME time, and in the same breath pollute the world a bit more. Or maybe it is because every time I go I am being told off by someone for chatting. Or maybe I don’t really want my son to come home and tell me that if something goes wrong “it is God’s will”…

I am all for having a spiritual side (after all I do) if it helps you through challenges and makes you do good things for others. However I want to teach my children that they are in charge of their life. If they don’t like something then THEY change it, God will help them I am sure, but at the end of the day only they can make the decision.

I would rather not get into this in depth right here because we will be here for a while. And we are talking about school not religion.

So now the rest of the dilemma…

We live in the catchment area of the school with THE BAD report!

The overall grade is 2, ie Good, with one grade 3 in the foundation because children are not left to spend enough time finding stuff by themselves. Now I don’t know you but there are worse things really. I mean, sure it is good to develop their independent side and I hope that they are making efforts to improve this, but it not like bringing guns at school or something similar. 

Anyway I visited the school and I liked it. Actually Elliott will be at their nursery next year for 5 half days a week and it is five minute walk from home. WALK, did you hear that? Heaven!

But that still wouldn’t be my first choice. If I listen to what my gut feeling is saying I would like the other school at the back of my house which is also 5 min in the other direction. That one is lodged into a park and is brand new purpose build. It is lovely. I can already picture myself walking to the school with Nala so she can also have a nice walk in the park after drop off…

I know it sounds like my decision is made. But NO it isn’t! I feel selfish for not wanting to make more of an effort to obtain a space at the much desired school. What if they don’t get a space because I make the wrong decision? What if they can’t get a good secondary school because of that and end up mixing with the wrong crowd. What if I RUIN their life for not making the RIGHT DECISION??!!

I feel so torn. Deep down I know that we can provide a good support to them and educate them culturally and challenge them to get them to think bigger and higher.

How much of an influence is the school if it isn’t for the people they are mixing with? Is it because an OFSTED report is just “good” compared to an “outstanding” that I shouldn’t consider putting that school as my first choice? Am I a selfish mother for wanting to cut the distance to the school?!

ARRRGGHHHH!!!! This is what I think!

Help me please… have you had to make a similar choice?

Having a "Facebook Crisis"

Facebook is in my opinion one of the best way to keep in touch with my friends and family and keep up with the changes happening in their life.

I have two Facebook accounts, one private and one blog/work related. Not that I love juggling between so many twitter accounts, facebook accounts or fan pages. No, it is just because I like keeping some stuff private and among the people who know me well.

My private Facebook account has 80ish friends. The reason for this is that these 80ish people are my friends or family. They are not all my closest friends but they are people I like very much and with whom I share experiences and memories. Some I have known for a while and some I have known for little time.

They all have one thing in common: I enjoy their company and it warms my heart to see that old school friends have gorgeous babies or cousins I haven’t seen for ages are well and happy. If it wasn’t for Facebook there are some friends or even family that I would have lost.

The reason I am having a crisis here, is because lately I have been contacted by people who I haven’t seen for years and the reason for that is because we fell out badly and I have no intention of welcoming them back so easily into my private life. I am not against burying the hatchet and starting all over again, actually I have done it with a couple of them and it feels good. However I am not going to allow people back in my life if they don’t even try and talk to me first, in order to help them boost their popularity. Adding me for the sake of being nosy and seeing my photos will not work.

The other thing that really upsets me is old friends who ignore any comment or message I write on their status or I send to their inbox. You obviously see so many comments going back and forth on your friends pages that without taking things personally, well you start taking it… personally! But that’s another matter and one that can be considered unreasonable…

But even with all this I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love the casual conversations I am able to have with dear friends everyday and I love seeing my nieces and nephew growing especially since my sister is so RUBBISH at emailing me photos!

So no I wouldn’t change Facebook but I might change my “acceptation process”…

So we are potty training...

I know you have been waiting to hear about our potty training experience since the day I announced that we were going to start. Remember? The day I didn't enjoy being a mummy. 

It has been 3 weeks and I can say that we are doing fantastically well! 

He is a boy and I was told on lots of occasions that boys are lazy, and not referring to their potty skills only by the way. Many people recommended that I waited for him to be 3 to start because all my previous attempts ended rather dramatically and always with a wet sofa. 

So after a long mental preparation and with the "Third Birthday" deadline looming, I started feeling the anguish of "The wet sofa, the return"... 

We started on a Monday morning. When he woke up and we announced cheerfully: "the day has come! Let's burn the nappies!!" Although he didn't like the idea of burning the nappies, he didn't complain about wearing pants. And that was it! No more nappies apart from at nap time and night time. 

Yes we are having some accidents, of course, but after 3 days from starting we were out and about and rarely had to change his pants and trousers. Actually only once it happened. AND he now asks to go to toilet and wakes up with a dry nappy after nap time.  

I am so proud of him! The only trouble his "poppey" if you know what I mean... 

He refuses to do it anywhere else than in his pants or nappy and I am a little confused and not sure about what I should do... 

Just earlier it was the first time he did IT in the potty (because he started it in his trousers and I caught him on time) and when he looked at IT, he looked at me with a distressed expression and said: "Mummy, where is my willy?!" (what is it with men and their willy? Do we go around scratching our boobs and checking they are there all the time?!)

So here went the explanation that he hasn't lost his willy and despite the praises, cheers and the dance with TWO HUGE chocolate buttons he still seemed very unhappy.

Any tips experienced mummies and daddies out there?! I'll send you a chocolate button! I seem to be distributing them like mad at the moment... 

Believe it or not, my intentions were to sort things out...

NOT THIS!!!!